“I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”

This is a great quote I love it, I will definitely be changing my sails in 2011. Fingers crossed its in the direction we want to go.

300 visitors

Yay I have had 300 Visits to my Blog, Shhh dont tell anyone that probably 50% of that is me checking to see how many Visitors I have had LOL

I hope everyone has enjoyed reading my blog, like many other people it is a place for me to come and get my thoughts out. So bare with me if its boring hehe

Have a nice day. The new year and new beginning begins in a few days. Bring on our year.

Visualisation

About a year or more ago I purchased a fertility bracelet, I thought what the hell lets try something and see if that helps. I brought this lovely silver and rose quartz bracelet that had a little turtle attached. Im sure you are all nodding your head as you have all tried or thought about trying LOL.

Any way with the bracelet came a little saying. Its said to help charge the gems. And I thought I would share it.

You are to visualise your desire, and Picture the spark of life growing deep in your womb, and see your tummy growing heavier and rounder with the baby you long for.

In my life I now have room

to nourish a babe within my womb

and to my arms a welcome nest

and comfort waiting at my breast.

An it harm none and cause no strife

my belly to swell and ripen new life

a babe to grow strong within me

as I will, so let it be!

Have fun with that and lets hope that we all get our wish in 2011.

Even Impossible says I'm Possible

I am going to find a quote and publish it every day/week and take inspiration from it. I found this one today and thought it was a great start. 2011 is going to be our year and we are starting it with I'M Possible.

Merry Xmas

Wishing everyone a Very Merry Xmas. Hope Santa is good to everyone. Tak care and enjoy the time with your family.
My xmas wish-----I WILL HAVE A BABY NEXT XMAS.

All the best.

Fertility Superstitions

I was googling and came across some fertility superstitions. Maybe I will have to try some LOL

• Woman should wear a crystal stone as a necklace and she will have better chances of becoming pregnant. (done that)
• An old wives' tale is that women who wish to become pregnant should not live in high places. 
• Keep frog statues and other frog symbols around the house. The frog is a great symbol of fertility. (but dont touch one - read below) 
• During the wedding day, place a dog somewhere in the venue. The dog brings luck and fertility to the couple. (im sure there was a dog somewhere on our wedding day)
• In Scotland, children who are hoping for a baby brother or baby sister should stack cabbage stalks near the doors and windows of their house on Halloween. Fairies will then bring them a new sibling. (shit Halloween was 2 months ago - will have to wait til next year)
• Women in the Philippines who have trouble getting pregnant go to a Filipino festival called the Obando Fertility Rites. Every 17^th, 18^th, and 19^th of May each year, women from all over trek to the town of Obando, Bulacan to attend the festival. They then perform the ritual of dancing wildly and singing loudly throughout the streets of the town. (Honey book the plane we are going to Obando in May)
• If an African woman wishes to become pregnant, she carries around an African fertility doll on her back until she conceives. (where can I get one of these, im sure it will be a great fashion accessory)
• Childless Indian women turn to a spirit called Kokopelli to treat their infertility. (hmm have to look into spirit calling)
• In voodoo magic, the broom is a symbol of sweeping away the bad luck and spells that hinder pregnancy. (and Voodoo magic)
• In Russia, it is socially unacceptable for the woman to sit on cold surfaces including the ground. The cold temperature is believed to have a negative effect on the woman's fertility. This includes children who are harshly reprimanded when caught sitting on the ground. (well all those years of sitting on the ground at school didnt do me any good)
• One belief in Jamaica is that if a lizard falls on a woman, she will become or already is pregnant. (im going out to the garden to find a lizard and make it fall on me)
• Both the Hindu and the Scandinavians look at the cat as a powerful symbol of fertility. (I have a cat, Indy come here)
• Light a fertility candle during sexual intercourse and the couple will surely have a baby. (Going to buy a billion of these, just hope I dont burn the house down)
• If snow falls when the bride is on her way to her wedding, then she will not only have increased wealth but also increased fertility. (well it didnt snow but it did piss down rain on my wedding day, isnt that suppose to be goodluck???)
• The full moon has always been a sign of fertility. When the moon is at its fullest, Wiccans perform their fertility spells to have better chances of becoming pregnant. (ooh I also need to be a Wiccan)
• If the engaged couple wants to get pregnant right away, then the best time to get married is in the summer months. The sun has always been closely associated with fertility. (Spring was close enough LOL)
•  Anything shaped like a horseshoe or the crescent moon is a good luck charm for fertility. (ok horse shoe buying time) 
• The rabbit's foot is not only a sign of good luck, but also a symbol of fertility. Keep a rabbit's foot with you if you want to become pregnant. (Honey can you go find a rabbit and cut off its foot)
• The woman must not touch a frog or else she will become infertile. (Maybe this is the problem im sure I have touched a Frog)
• If a woman sees two storks, it means that she will become pregnant. (where do I find a stork, actually just one of those storks with a baby in it would be good)
• String some hazelnut and hang it in the couple's room. They will soon have a baby together. (I need Hazelnuts and string)
• Like the Celtics believe, the woman should gather acorns at night to boost her fertility. (and acorns)
• On June 23 which is Midsummer's Eve, the woman is to go into her garden naked and pick a St. John's Wort flower if she wants to become pregnant. (oh this sounds like fun, dont know if the neighbours would approve but YKISTA would hehe)
• A woman planning to conceive should not knit an article of clothing or else it may stop her from having a baby. (does that include my M.I.L. she is always knitting)
• After sex, the woman should stand on her head and she will have better chances of becoming pregnant. (yeah and break my neck in the process)
• Here's one that is still very popular. On the wedding day, the bride must take part in the cutting of the cake. She also must have the first bite. Otherwise, she will have trouble getting pregnant. (I cut it but bugger I didnt have the fisrt bite)
• Throwing rice grains on the couple during their wedding day also ensures fertility. (hmm so those rose petals didnt do the job)
• Wearing fertility symbols such as pine cones, turtles, acorns, frogs, and eggs as bracelets, necklaces, and other jewelry will ensure pregnancy. (Honey im off to find these things to make a bracelet)
• Do like the Yansi people of Africa's Congo region and toss your underwear onto the roof of your house when there's a waning moon. To fall pregnant, you can only retrieve your underpants when there's a new moon. (Off to do this now, once again im sure the neighbours would love it)

It is amazing what people will do and believe in to get pregnant, so anyway if you see a weird lady with a fertility statue on her back, avoiding frogs, chasing lizards to fall on her, collecting acorns, hazelnuts, and trying to find other weird things, oh and tossing my undies and running around naked in my backyard, then you will know you have found me.
Enjoy trying some of these weird superstitions.

What is Endometriosis

I thought I would write a post about Endometriosis as I have this horrible condition. This information comes from http://www.canberrafertilitycentre.com.au/Patient_info_Endo.html

Endometriosis is a disorder of the female reproductive system, where endometrial tissue (the normal lining of the uterus) is found in areas other than the uterus. The most common sites are in the pelvis—the ovaries or tissues near the uterus and fallopian tubes, including the bladder, ligaments and bowel.

HOW DOES ENDOMETRIOSIS OCCUR?The exact causes of endometriosis are still not fully understood. It is believed that endometriosis may occur as a result of normal tissue from the uterus escaping into the fallopian tube and out into the pelvic area at the time of menstruation (“retrograde menstruation”). These tissue fragments are then thought to implant and grow onto the surrounding pelvic tissue and, sometimes, organs. There are other suggested possible causes.

Because these fragments are made of the same tissue as the lining of the uterus, they too respond to the hormonal changes that occur during the menstrual cycle and, therefore, “bleed”. Whereas menstrual blood can escape from the body, this has no exit and, as a result, the areas surrounding the implants of tissue become irritated or inflamed. Some of the blood and tissue may form into cysts (fluid filled lumps) —sometimes known as “chocolate” cysts, due to the colour similarity. The continual release of blood contributes to the formation of scar tissue. If the endometriosis is severe, bands of this scarred tissue (“adhesions”) may develop.

EFFECTS OF ENDOMETRIOSIS ON FERTILITYEndometriosis and infertility are related. Although some women with endometriosis remain fertile, endometriosis is regarded as one of the most common causes of infertility in women over 25 years. It has been further estimated that between a third and a half of all women with infertility problems have some degree of endometriosis.

Why it causes infertility is unclear. For women with severe endometriosis, their fallopian tubes may be damaged so that it is impossible for the egg to reach the sperm. Other women may have impaired ovulation or eggs as a result of endometriosis, but even where it is mild or where the endometriosis is not found on the tubes or ovaries, women can remain infertile.

SYMPTOMS OF ENDOMETRIOSISPain is the major symptom, though its intensity may vary.
It may be experienced as a sharp stabbing pain, a constant or intermittent dull ache, or as a severe cramping pain.

This pain may be felt:

• with periods (mild, moderate or severe pain);

• during ovulation (mild, moderate or severe pain midway between periods);

• in the bowel during menstruation, or bowel movements or when passing wind; and

• during or after sexual intercourse.

Other symptoms may include:

• infertility;

• diarrhoea or constipation;

• heavy or irregular bleeding (sometimes involving the loss of large clots of blood or tissue); and

• pre-menstrual tension.

The severity of symptoms has little to do with the extent of endometriosis. Some women may have severe pain from just a slight build-up of tissue, whereas other women may have only the mildest symptoms despite an extensive build-up of tissue.

DIAGNOSISThe presence of endometriosis may be diagnosed at the initial consultation and examination, however, a firm diagnosis can only be made when the endometriosis is actually seen, using a surgical procedure known as a laparoscopy. This enables the doctor to view the ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus and other pelvic organs.

TREATMENTOptions for treatment may include no treatment at all (if the symptoms are tolerable), drug therapy or surgery.

1. Drug Therapy

Drug therapy is used to suppress ovulation and, therefore, menstruation. Some of the drugs used are the oral contraceptive pill, progesterones (which cause a pseudo-pregnancy) and Synarel (which causes a pseudo-menopause) or Danazol. These drugs are not always effective.

These medications are usually taken for 6-12 months, depending on the severity of the condition. These synthetic hormones suppress the function of the ovaries by acting on the pituitary so that hormones necessary for ovulation are not produced. By keeping a woman free of menstruation (“pseudo-menopause”) the endometrial tissue does not have a chance to bleed, thus enabling the inflamed areas to heal.

Possible side effects include weight gain of 1-4kgs, some decrease in breast size, a tendency towards acne, occasional increase in body hair, oily skin and symptoms of the menopause such as hot flushes, nausea and change in sex-drive. Symptoms should be reversible after the drug is discontinued. Long term use may result in loss of bone mineral and bone density studies are recommended if the course of Synarel treatment is longer than six months. Normal ovulation and ovarian functions should return to normal following cessation of medication.

This treatment gives some women immediate and substantial relief from symptoms. Not every woman suffers from these side effects but for others the side effects can be worse than the original symptoms.

2. Surgery

Where more severe forms of endometriosis exist, surgery is indicated to restore normal anatomy as far as possible.

Surgical procedures may range from simple cautery of endometriosis spots to extensive removal of tissue and microsurgery.

A combination of surgical treatment, medication and IVF has been used with impressive results—up to 79% pregnancy rate in a reported series.

Am I subconsciously sabotaging myself

(Warning Swearing in Post)
I found this Article the other day and thought it was a good article, also I have often wondered if I am sabotaging my efforts. I know some times when I am out and I see a little baby with a 16 year old I get the shits, why is this 16 year old allowed to get pregnant when they are still a kid them selves, when I am financially, mentally and physically ready for a baby. I also get the shits when I hear that some asshole has killed their baby or kids, or they think their kid is an inconvenience to them. WHY are these people allowed to have babies and there are so many of us out there that have spent 1,2,3,4, 10 years trying to bring a baby into the world and these fuck wits spit kids out like they are going out of fashion.

I also know that when I am stressed or emotionally down I eat, thats what got me to 105kg. I hate being this size and I know that being obese is something that can hinder getting pregnant but I just cant help it.

My goal is to loose 5-10kg and also not let the fuck wits with babies get to me. I need to be happy and generally I am. It is just there are some days I really dont want to deal with the shit. 

This is the article I read below and this is the link http://www.bubhub.com.au/info/articles/conception-fertility/are_your_emotions_blocking_conception.shtml

Are your Emotions Blocking Conception

Have you ever wanted something so badly that the sight or thought of someone else having it made you furious, sick to the stomach or tearful?  Maybe it's that promotion, that partner, that baby? Desire can motivate us, but taken to the extreme it works in reverse, driving away what we most want, spiraling us down into despair. This may sound overly dramatic for those who haven't experienced this, or know someone who has. However, I've worked with many clients experiencing this, and I know many of you will totally relate to what I'm saying.

The situation is even more upsetting when you know you and your partner have been trying so hard to make your bodies and your environment as healthy as possible, to give your baby the best possible start.  You possibly started detoxing and destressing 6 months before 'officially' trying to conceive.  You now know exactly when you are ovulating and when you need to have loving sex.  But it's been over 12 months, tests show there's no physical reason not to, yet you still haven’t conceived.  Your stress levels are skyrocketing and the healthy eating and drinking are consequentially becoming difficult. It feels so unfair to be struggling when everyone else seems to be breeding like the proverbial rabbits.

You've no doubt heard, seen or read of "The Secret", The Law Of Attraction etc, so perhaps feel that since you want something so badly, it has to come to you.  The key, of course, is how you feel when you are thinking about what you desire. How you feel about a goal anchors into your body, so, after repetition of desire, simply the sight, sound, mention or thought of the goal (or similar) will immediately generate the same response in your body.  The idea is that you are filling your body with positive sensations, so psychologically and physiologically you program yourself that this goal is a very good thing for you.  The bonus is that you are certainly more likely to achieve your goal/desire, and most importantly, your journey will be a pleasant positive experience.

The opposite works the same way.  If you continually experience strong negative emotions when you think of your desire e.g. anger, jealousy, frustration, sadness, fear, guilt, you will anchor those into your body. The result is you'll associate your goal with pain, and strive to avoid achieving it.  So, you not only miss your desire, you have a miserable journey grabbing at something you always keep out of reach, in order to protect yourself from the pain.

For example, this means that if you are conceiving, on IVF or not, the sight of someone else's baby or a pregnant woman sets off a negative emotional chain reaction, and you are, in fact, training your body that "baby = pain" and "pregnancy = pain". And, of course, we are programmed at a survival level to instinctively avoid pain. You need to train your body to believe that "baby = love" and pregnancy is a highly desirable state. You may need to collapse your negative baby and pregnancy anchors (easily done using Neuro Linguistic Programming).

Next, you need to layer in a new positive anchor by flooding your body with warm, loving, protective, happy feelings at every opportunity. This will involve stepping out of your own 'stuff' and looking at a baby with new eyes, marveling at it as the innocent, unique and miraculous being it is.  Touching, holding, smelling and looking at it lovingly will all generate the positive anchoring in your body. Likewise, the pregnant woman you see is also a miracle on her own journey. She's not chosen to conceive to hurt you, and by ascribing that meaning, in your body, you hurt yourself more than anyone else could. 

Likewise, if you are jealous of another's good fortune, e.g. a promotion or successful business, you are anchoring in that success = pain, or wealth = pain.  You are also closing off opportunities to share that good fortune.  If you were expanding your business and looking to 'head-hunt' a former colleague, would you consider the one who had sour grapes, or the one who was generous of spirit, and genuinely pleased at your success?  Take a moment to look at a desire you haven't yet achieved, and ask yourself what you are anchoring in, and whether you are helping or hindering your chance of success.  Look at ways you can turn your attitude and behaviour around to serve your purpose better.

The idea of making this shift may seem impossible, but it can be achieved more quickly and easily than you can imagine, if you have access to the right techniques, and you do.

IVF #3

The journey continues, it is now October and IVF #3 kicked off. As per usual I am on a long cycle, with the down regulation sniffing the disgusting Synarel for 10 days and then onto jabbing Gonal F. The dose for Gonal F was 450iu so I was so hoping I would get some more eggs this time round.
EPU was Monday 8th November and we managed 6 eggs from my 1 ovary. I was pleased with that. And now the painful wait started to see if they fertilised and how many.
I was so excited when I was told that all 6 fertilised and over the next few days they all continued to grow. At day 2 we decided to keep them all growing to blastocyst stage and see how we go. Every day I would ring in to get the results. day 2 all were still growing and they were perfect, at day 3 - we had 2x8cells, 2x6cells and 2x4 cells, at day 4 - 3 at molura stage, 1 x8cell,1x6cell,1x4cell and then at day 5 (transfer day) we had 1 blasty which we had transferred and 2 blasties were frozen the other 3 had stopped growing. So we had a 50% rate to blasty stage which was fantastic.
After EPU I was so sick for about 3 days, I threw up several times and felt generally sick, I informed the nurses and they said just take it easy. I couldnt decide if I had a gastro bug or a mild case of OHSS (over hypo stimulation syndrome) but my sister also had a gastro bug.
The 2 ww seemed to fly this time around as I had a day 5 transfer there was less time to wait.
BT day was confirmed with a HCG level of 26. which was a positive, however that day I started to spot and then the bleeding just got heavier from there. 2 days later my HCG was 75, but then it dropped to 16 so we were pregnant for a few days. But miscarried.
We were devastated as you would expect. After a few days of bawling our eyes out we out we saw DR S who told us that it was a good sign and even though it was bad luck we have managed to conceive twice now so that is a positive.
We discussed the options of what to do next and we are now on a break for 3 months, and then we will be doing a natural FET (frozen Embryo transfer)in about March 2011.
That brings us up to current date so another enforced break and now trying to be positive and also try to loose about 5-10 kg in the next 12 weeks.

IVF # 2

After having 3 months off we were back on the rollercoaster. The middle of May I started the down regulation phase with the Synarel and then the Gonal F at the end of May. This time around I was on 375iu of Gonal F. I noticed I got rather tired this time compared to the 1st round, but other then that no other side effects from the drugs.
YKISTA on the other hand was in a weird mood this whole cycle, he later said that he was being distant as he didnt want to get his hopes up and wasnt coping real well throughout the cycle.
During my US I had 7 follicles growing and of good size so I was pleased with that. EPU was Friday 4th June and I got 4 eggs this time, however 1 was immature and the other 3 were suitable for ICSI. Only 2 fertilised and come Monday the 7th I was once again UTD (up the duff) or PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). I had transfered 2 top quality day 3 embryos.
The 2ww set in and even though I really wanted to be pregnant I didnt think I was, I had exactly the same cramping as the 1st cycle and on day 12 after EPU I got AF in the morning and the BT confirmed it was a BFN.
In the middle of that I had my 33rd Birthday, yet another year older and still no baby.
We saw Dr S again after the cycle, and his next plan of attack was take 3 months off and try Gonal F at 450iu and 600mg of progesterone and if we get more then 6 embryos to take them to blastocyst and try a blastocyst transfer. Otherwise he had no explaination.
Yet again back to the drawing board.

IVF # 1

On Dec 22, 2009 we had our paper signing interview and I happened to get AF (aunty Flo - period) that day, which meant I was officially on CD (cycle day) 1 and starting my first IVF cycle. I was so excited. I was looking forward to Xmas but I also wanted to hit fast forward and get me to January when I actually started doing somthing.
I was doing a down regulated cycle, which means that from 7 days after OV (ovulation) you start with Synarel, which is a nasal spray, and do this for about 10 days. This takes you to AF and then the injections start. Then about 7 days later there is more BT (blood tests) and U/S (ultrasounds) to see where you are at. Then the EPU (egg pick up) and then transfer of a little embryo or 2.
So on the 5th Jan I went for a BT (CD 15) and was told I havent OV (well der I knew that as I never OV til about day 17 at the earliest). So back to have another BT 2 days later and the said my LH (Lutenizing Hormone) looked like it was going to spike that night, so start your Synarel twice a day from the 14th Jan. YAY I was finally starting something.
The 23rd Jan back for another BT to see if my E2 (estrogen)had dropped, nope it hadnt, back in 2 days for another BT. YAY E2 dropped and I start my injections of Gonal F 225iu on the 28th Jan.
I had a few BT and U/S over the next 2 weeks and as I only have 1 ovary I was told I have about 5-7 follicles growing nicely.
At EPU there were 3 eggs collected, I was a little disapointed but ok with the result.
The next day I found out all 3 had fertilised and then on the 13th of Feb I had 2 x 2 day embrys transfered. They were Grade 1 (best) and Grade 2. Bring on the 2ww and a BFP was all I could think about.
My clinic does 3 lots of BT during this wait, the first at days past EPU to check the P4 (progesterone level) at 10dp EPU for P4 and hcg and then at 12dp EPU for P4 and final HCG.
At 7dp I was told my P4 levels were too low so I was increased from 1 Crinone (gel progesterone) to 2 per day. Then at 10dp they said there was no hcg but thats ok as only 50% show a hcg level at 10dp.
The moment of truth 12dp ---- BFN both YKISTA and I were devestated and came crashing down to reality that it didnt work.
We had an appt with Dr S and he said that we can try again with a higher dose of Gonal F and this time with 200mg of PP (progesterone Pessaries) and have a 3 month break and try again.
So back to the drawing board we go.

You have Endo

So 2 weeks after my surgery I go back to see Dr S and find out how my surgery went and why I am still in pain.
Dr S started to explain that all he was able to do during the laparscopy was have a look, but he discovered that I have severe Endometriosis and was unable to get near my ovary as he was unable to get a clear view of it with all the Endo. He then had me fill out paper work to have a Laparotomy, which is full surgery, to have both the cyst and endo removed.
Another painful 6 week wait and it is now the end Nov 2009 and I am booked in for suregery.
I was so scared this time around as I didnt want my ovary to be removed, and I didnt know what they might find.
After recovery I was in so much pain and I had to spend 5 days in hospital. This was the worst 5 days, the bed was uncomfortable and I was so bored that I didnt even want to read magazines, read a book or even watch TV.
Well after the 5 days I was then stuck at home for another 5 weeks, great being away from work, but once again because I wasnt able to move further then the bed to the lounge chair (thanks god for my Laz-y-boy chair) that I got really bored again. My little sis was good she would come and visit me and keep me from going insane.
So any way my left ovary was removed and so was the endo (but this can continue to grow). Dr S said lets start IVF as soon as and get you pregnant, I thought that was a great plan.
2 months later I (we) were on our first IVF cylce and I was so excited and thought of course I will be one of those lucky ones that will get there BFP (big fat pregnant) on the first try.

Pain OMG Pain

After a few months of trying naturally, it was about March, one night we were BD (baby dancing) and about an hour later i woke up with pain, i didnt know what it was but OMG it hurt. The pain was still hanging around for a few days, mainly down my left side and in front low uterus pain, so i booked in to see the Dr and she checked me out and sent me off for an scan and BT. The BT come back with nothing, so off for a scan which took about 2 weeks to get an appt and i was still in pain. Well the scan showed a lovely 5.5 cm cyst on my left ovary. Well that would account for the pain.
Back to the dr i go with my scan, they said its probably nothing and should go down by its self with in 6 weeks so have another scan in 6 weeks and we will go from there.
6 weeks later i am still in pain and i head off for another scan. YAY the cyst is now about 6cms in size and no signs of getting smaller.
Time to see my gyno. I book in for an appointment but i cant get an appt for about 6-8 weeks so i ring around and get an appt with another gyno in 2 weeks.
The gyno took one look at the report from my 2 scans and said go to Sydney and have another scan, this one shows if there is blood flow to the cyst and can identify more about the cyst. Also he sent me for a BT to see if i have an cancer indicators. Well that was fun, i love how Drs scare the shit out of you and say you might have cancer.
So another week or so i wait til i have my next scan (still in pain). Off i trudge to Sydney (2.5 hour drive) and have a scan. But this proves very painful, they say i have to prep for the scan by drinking 600mls of water, well that is real hard when my bladder is pushing on my ovary so by the time i got to the clinic i was busting and crying from pain.
The scan showed the cyst, there was no blood flow to it thank god as blood flow indicates that it could be cancerous as the cyst is growing.
Back to gyno and he says nothing to worry about it looks like a simple cyst and it will go away, have a repeat scan in about 3 months. Mind you it is now June and i have been in pain for about 3 months.
I asked the gyno well what is causing the pain, i cant have sex and when my bladder gets full i get radiating pain down my left side and across the front. His answer was its probably gas take charcoal tablets. (Gas yeah right and the charcoal tablets didnt help.
I thought this cant be right i cant wait 3 months and hope the pain and cyst go away. I still had my gyno appt and it was about 2 weeks away.
So i waited and went to see DR S. who took one look at all the scan reports and said lets do a laparscopy and have a look at this, if it was going to go down it would have.
In October i finally got to have my surgery. Scary. I remember being wheeled down the corridor and then Dr S says to me lets have a look, if i can save the ovary i will. I begged him to do his best.
I woke up in recovery an hour or so later and asked the nurse how it all went and she said all went well. So i thought great that is wonderful news. I was in the ward for a few hours and i was then discharged and told to return to Dr S in 2 weeks. I was thinking this is wonderful everything is going to be better now.
Well 3 days later the pain was back and i thought must just be a side effect of the surgery, as i was still recovering. Not likely. So off i go to Dr S to find out what happened during surgery.

First ever BFP

Low and behold you only read miracles like this they never happen to you. So while I was waiting for AF to show up so we could start IVF i actually fell pregnant. I thought great just my luck my period is late so my IVF start date will be late. I never thought i could be pregnant not after Dr S said it would be likely about 2% that i would conceieve naturally. So i was about a week late and decided i might as well do a HPT since every time i have done them in the past i alway get AF the next day.
2 Lines OMG. Im pregnant
That cant be right so i peed on a few more and they were all pregnant. So both YKISTA and I get really excited and ring our family and tell them.
Well as i said i always get my period when i take HPT, the next day i had some cramping and started spotting. Holy crap whats happening so i went to the hospital. They tested my HCG levels and they were fine and i had a scan to see if i was pregnant. Because it was still early only 5 1/2 weeks there was the sac and yolk but too early for a HB. Told all looked fine come back if bleeding continues.
Well the spotting stopped so we thought yay all is fine and i am pregnant, we are going to have a baby.
about 2 days later i started spotting and then full on bleeding and cramps. OMG what is going on. Back to the hospital and it is confirmend that i am having a MC (Miscariage) as my HCG levels have dropped.
Devestated i thought all our prayers had been answered only to be kicked in the guts and brought back to reality.
So after the devestation we deceide that hey we can get pregnant on our own lets try for a few months and if nothing happens we will go back to IVF.

FS Appointment

After waiting about 8 weeks to get an appointment we finally got an appt with DR S. He was very nice and we were comfortable with him from the start, which is a good thing when your talking about intimate stuff with him.
Anyway he didn't seem to concerned with my pain since it had only happened twice maybe 3 times in my whole 15 years of having my period, but sent me off for some tests and sent YKISTA off for a SA (Semen Analysis).
I was sent to have a HSG which is a dye that is put into the cervix and flushed through your tubes to see if there is any blockages. All good a small amount of blockage but nothing that could affect anything.
YKISTA had to have a date with a cup and that unfortunately came back not so good. 1 test showed about 15mil swimmers and another 22mil, the motility and morphology was ok, just low.
DR S said that cos they were low there was no point beating around the bush trying IUI or tracking he said lets go straight to IVF and ICSI (sperm being injected into the eggs)
OMG was my reaction, so off we went to think about it and decided that since about 4 months had passed that we might as well go down the track of IVF, it had now been 2 years.
So in Dec 2008 we went off to our clinic and signed the paper work. Staring down the path of our first IVF cycle to start end Jan 2009.
Jan 2009 came around and OMG we are Pregnant yep you heard correctly we are pregnant before we started out first round of IVF

Our TTC Journey

Well as my timeline states we started TTC in Dec 2006. We knew that it wouldn't happen over night but didn't think it would take more then a year. We were both fairly healthy and couldn't think that there was anything wrong with us.
I remember my first period was late by about a week. I had always been regular but I had been on the pill for about 5 years. I took a HPT and of course it was Negative, and yep next day i got AF. (Aunt Flo or my period)
Anyway fast forward about 8 months and still not pregnant. Anyway in in about October 2007 I got AF and I also got this really sharp pain in my left ovary region. I never suffer from period pain or if I do have pain it is really mild and I can cope, never taken anything for it not even panadol. So when i get sharp pain that makes me feel like I am going to throw up and pass out I wonder why. So off to the Dr I go. The Dr had me do a blood HCG test, which came back negative but was concerned so they sent me to have an ultrasound. They thought it might be an ectopic pregnancy but the HCG test keep coming up negative. Anyway the ultrasound showed a small amount of blood in my left fallopian tube but nothing that could be causing the pain. Well the pain stopped when AF finished and I didnt think anything of it.
A few months down the track my periods were back to normal but then again I started getting bad pain when I had my period. Dr gave me a referral to the gyno for the pain and to see why the hell we weren't pregnant yet.

How We Met

YKISTA and I met back in July 2000. And as my side about us states we met on the side of a hill.
I was house sitting a horse property while the owners were away on holidays and I somehow managed to get the little jeep stuck on the side of a hill. I had to drive the jeep up a lane way which was up a hill to go feed the horses over the back paddock, but it had been raining for the past few days and the hill was very slippery. So i tried to drive up the hill and about half way up i started sliding sideways and ended up stuck on the fence.
I called my sister and her friend to come out and give me a hand to get the stupid jeep of the fence. They said now problems and said meet them in town and they will come out and give me a hand.
On the way back out to the farm they said we have to make a detour and pick up a friend that can help us. This friend happened to be YKISTA. And you know what they set up that YKISTA had to catch a lift with me. I was like thanks guys I have no idea who this guys is and you are making him get in my car.
Well long story short it took 3 days to get the jeep off the fence cos it was still raining and the jeep was stuck on the fence, and YKISTA was with me the whole 3 days. We haven't been apart since.